Life Is Like A Carton Of Eggs

July 19th, 2010

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Poached eggs for me. At least until I see the dentist.

When one begins to write a food blog it would behoove one to realize that when that one is wearing a full set of really big square silver orthodontic braces not unlike those that even Ugly Betty ridded herself of; one should already know there are foods that cannot be eaten.

I took that into full consideration when I started this blog in September of last year because I was already one year into wearing them and fully aware of the fact that each 6 week adjustment would have me eating baby food for a week. Or food similar thereof like a baked potato so soft, it mashed well with ketchup, into slop. Yes, ketchup not catsup and not homemade either.

Unlike those who purport to never eating store bought condiments like mayonnaise or ketchup; I feel there are some condiments that should never be made or if made; then to be used for a specific purpose. I.e. Ketchup – if truth be known Heinz ketchup. Mayonnaise I admit has a whole different taste structure when homemade and surely goes with lobster or shrimp or even a deluxe potato salad. It doesn’t go on canned tuna like Hellman’s does. Let’s face it. Picnic potato salad goes with bottled mayonnaise the way shoes should be worn with socks. Somehow nylons and shoes just don’t work well together. You can do it but it’s not best.

Why a woman chooses to go into orthodontics in her early 50’s is not her vanity. Not in my case. It was due to Dental Malpractice and other than that I say not another word more until the case gets settled.

However, when a planned weekend to Burlington, Vt. comes around at the same time the Beer festival and the County Fair is being held in and around Church Street, I zoom into the car with pet and husband in tow and drive the approximate two hours crossing country lines with a glee and a smile and a passport.

To get to Burlington from Montreal is a delight because the strip of highway turns into small-town Quebec right before the border. There is Venise-en-Quebec, and small Henryville and along these small roads (known as the St. Jean Sur Richelieu area) all the farms and farm stands selling “Mais Sucre” et ‘Bleuets, Fraises’ right off the highway. It is such a delight and the comment is always the same: ‘On our way back we will stop at the stands and pick up some corn’.

Montreal is a cosmopolitan city with very few chain restaurants. In fact the newest buzz is that Five Guys is coming to Quebec; although the Montreal area doesn’t seem to be designated for one. The suburbs are getting them, at least those off the island. That’s why when we get to go to the ‘States’ one of the exciting reasons is that we get to eat at the small town chain restaurants that we don’t know of here.

Five Guys Chain of Hamburgers

It is fun to walk into Uno and eat from the ‘all-you-can-eat’ soup bar even if the Clam Chowder is so dense with the taste of raw flour or the Italian Wedding soup is bland it could use a divorce…because the way they serve you with those gigantic bowls and soft drinks in 16 oz glasses and waitresses that talk in high-pitched nearly uncontrollable excitement, that actually makes you feel you are on vacation.

Forget the fact that Uno’s pizza is inedible. Forget the fact that you are paying close to 125 bucks a night to sleep in a dumpy divey hotel suite that serves a delightful continental breakfast from 7-10 a.m in their worn out lobby.

We are in the ‘States’ on a mini-vacation where Bed Bath and Beyond has a store that takes up twice the size of the local Costco and isn’t considered ‘big box.’ Bed-bugs begone!

However, there is an element of Burlington that is cultured and philosophical and boasts a beautiful college campus and the most modern hospitals. Where the downtown area is exclusive and the stores lovely and even better: top class restaurants with unusual names that are in English like the Chinese food restaurant highly rated called a Single Pebble. Leunigs has been there for as long as I remember on Church St. New around are Thai restaurants and a few new steakhouses although not too many BBQ places.

church st marketplace

In fact a few years ago I had a friend, a real-estate agent, who lived in Burlington having re-located from Boston because her husband wanted to open a restaurant serving authentic barbecue fare. It was going to have the word Pig in its name and for the life of me cannot remember the full name; unfortunately I did not see it on Shelburne Rd and guess it closed down and they moved on.

Saturday morning we woke up early and headed straight for the Farmers Market held each weekend. I love the Farmers Market in Burlington…every stall has tastings and the cheeses are just not to be believed. Every family cheese stand including Shelburne Farms was there. Handmade Pottery; smocks with hand stitching; fresh picked veggies – including stalls serving Thai, hot dog stands and the list goes on.

Of course everyone stops you when you are towing a thing that still looks like a puppy but shits like a horse. Every two feet we get stopped by either another dog owner who wants to mingle dogs or a child who wants to pet that thing I call Zoey. This makes tasting all those samples difficult. Especially since my husband always has to have a joke with the sellers like the one he seems to love: How Do You Get Goat Cheese From A Goat? Isn’t a Goat male? How do you have a female Goat….he drives me bonkers.

And since when did farmers get so young and so cute? It’s funny that suddenly I turn 50 and the world becomes run by twenty and thirty-somethings. Like aren’t they supposed to be in diapers and how did they get to know so much they are suddenly running everything…they are bankers; doctors; farmers and artisan cheese makers???????

Small town folks are fun. They are fun to talk to and they are fun to watch and they are good, honest down-home folks and I love being with them. Perhaps that’s why we almost moved to Burlington 15 years ago and why I want to move there now. But guess what. Their dentists don’t work on Saturdays!!! Deal Breaker.

Yes, you got it by now. One wrong bite on a soft cheese called ‘Batman Cheese’ made by a small artisan family farm with the most delightful labels. Batman Cheese is a goat cheese with a taste unlike anything I ever had. I would have guessed it tasted a bit of Blue Cheese but the Cheesemaker suggested she felt it tasted more like a Roquefort. The Cheesmaker mom and her daughter manned the booth and stood by as we asked all the questions and then it happened.

I knew it happened even before it happened. As I bit down on the cube of cheese, one of my multitudinous elastic bands flew out of my mouth like a self-propelled tracking device that had found its target on a big plate of prepared cheese cubes directly in front of me on the table. With absolute red-faced embarrassment I felt the need now to purchase at least five pounds of the various cheeses; which unfortunately I did not get a chance to do.

At the very moment the elastic flew I also bit down on the cube of Batman cheese I had popped into my mouth… and ‘POW’…the cap on my molar, with orthodontic brace intact, came off and hung out of my mouth like a bad joke. This time literally held on by a wire; the wire holding all my teeth taut which ran through the balance of the braces in my mouth. THIS IS WHY BRACES ARE FOR KIDS.

Day Spoiled! No eating anything for me today or tomorrow unless I gather my belongings and make a bee-line back home to Montreal. Which I did. Not before hubby was able to get the cap to sit nicely and politely back on a teetering tooth. The default chewing side, I might add.

And as I sat in the car, near tears, I said out loud “Life is like a box of Poached Eggs for me.” Boo-hoo (and no cheese)

I did stop on the way home for those Mais Sucre and a Tarte aux Bleuets.

But hold on for the Vermont Cheesemakers Festival Video from last year and know that they are sold out this year and indeed pretty much all of the Cheesemakers highlighted were at the Farmers Market.

UPDATE: Tickets for the Vermont Cheesemakers Festival 2010 July 25 is SOLD OUT

La Ferme Reid in Venise-en-Quebec and excuse the poor Blackberry photos